Wednesday, January 28, 2015

blow up at our house

So last night we had a big melt down in family communication. Dathen and Kyler were not doing dishes very well together and were about to start fighting. Dad and I stepped in, ok mostly dad because he knew I was going to lose it. The next thing I know Dathen is walking away, I am yelling and Dad has no idea how we got here. Doors start slamming, I yell Dathen cries and I send him to bed after he brushes his teeth. What a night. After Kyler, Dad and I finished dishes I got to cool down and think. What happened was not all Dathens fault or mine but a lack of communication on both our parts. Dad went and talked to Dathen and made him understand that just staying quiet is not always the way to deal with problems. I took the time to realize that him being quite was just pushing my buttons. He came back down and we talked and I hope feel better about all that happened.
     The whole this gave me time to think about how I was reacting to our trip and where my brain was after spending so much time with in-law family. I realized that I was not where I wanted to be or needed to be, I was seeing things in boxes again. I was seeing my kids as not fitting into boxes and that was a bad thing. But that was why we home school. So my kids don't have to fit in those dumb boxes. But all it took as a little time out of my bubble to go back to that thinking. How to people do this? I need to be able to spend time in the world and not lose my track on life.
     What I loved was while at one of the activities a boy came up to us and asked if we were home schoolers, "yes" Kyler replied "cool, us too" and then he swam away to his other friend. I would have hoped this would light something up for me to say "see you are doing something ok". I just find I forget quickly that this (HS) is ok, I am doing a good job, and my kids don't need to fit in box.

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